Originally Posted by
Sunflowerlife 
Good morning and Happy Thursday everyone.
I'm in a state of confusion these days. My marriage has been rocky for many years now and my husband and I had the worst fight ever in front of the kid 2 weeks ago. After that I vowed that it would never happen again and I closed my heart to him and started making plans for separation (down the road.)
He was even back to his usual mood swings last Sunday so I left the house for a bit so I didn't have to be around him. Then, since Monday, he has made a complete 180. He is acting like a totally different person, like the person I met 10 years ago, like the person I fell in love with. He's charming, funny, kind, good with the kids. He's leaving me notes in the morning and asking me how my day was (something he never used to do.) It's confusing beyond belief.
It's like the thing I wanted more than anything (him to change) has arrived (or has it?) and now I don't know what to do with it.
My good friend who I spoke with yesterday says it won't last and that I am not trusting myself and my intuition. I kept telling her I am so confused I don't know what is real anymore.
He says it's the meds/supplements he's combining for his ADD. I guess that is possible.
I even started reading about the empath/covert narcissist relationship, convinced that this is what I am experiencing.
She says people don't change. I don't believe that. However, I don't trust this 100% yet.
It's like he saw what he was about to lose (he would have to move out in the spring) and decided finally to change.
Is it possible to change that quickly? Is this real?
He has me questioning my sanity at this point and I don't trust my feelings anymore. How could I be so sure of divorce just a week ago and now I am living with a totally different person?
I am so lost and I almost feel like I should stop talking about it with my friends. I am the type of person who needs outside opinions, perhaps I rely on them too much. I should be keeping my mouth shut through all of this.
Any insight is appreciated.
Thank you.
So.....complete honesty love.
s
You know I didn't think it was a good idea to talk with your friend about this....if it was me, I would be talking to a counsellor only....friendships tend to get messed up when we get involved in each other's relationships....and gosh, sometimes we get the really really wrong advice....that's not good.
s
Of course people can change....your husband loves you honey, and this may well have been the shake-up he needed. But whether it will last might well depend on both of you.....maybe you are at a point where you can sit down and talk now.
The door might be open now.....instead of completely shut. And I think it's ok to be confused right now, sure it is uncomfortable, but you don't know yet.....you need to see how this feels for you.
And I love you.
xxxxx ❤️❤️❤️