Lucy- when we put down chemical substitutes for emotions, they wake up! Spitting the dummy is allowed. You are cognizant, thankful and connected tour surrounds and are doing well, by your words. Journaling for me, is like mindful breathing- or (what is not meant to be painful) yoga...it keeps the never stops part of my brain occupied and writing the words helps me make decisions, clarify to myself how I feel. I went to one of those discount shops and bought a big financial diary- one day , one page I am on volume 7 , from 4y ago starting. Good on you for sharing. Thanks.