Whoa, that's hard core. I'd need to retrace how I got to such an extreme point (I've had my version of losing it a couple notable times in sobriety but I wouldn't describe them quite that extreme) - and see where I needed to reign myself back in sooner when the beginnings of my fire were getting started. Even better, I have to work to be as emo stable as possible as much of the time as possible, so I don't go down a path to that kind of end.
Glad you didn't drink.