Welcome to SR! I am a Mom of an RA who started with heroin at age 20 and proceeded to steal, rob, lie and cheat his way through the next 5 years. It took me TIME to actually understand how I was enabling this behavior, and then once I actually backed off and let JJ feel the consequences of his actions, did he really work on making the changes he needed for HIS life. You are doing just fine. I agree on how exhausting it is each time they relapse after getting clean in rehab. There is hope however! JJ has 2 years 3 months clean but this is 100% about his choice to get sober, I am just enjoying the fruits of his labor. Hugs and keep posting, we do understand!