yooper,
As the sibling of an addict whose story is similar to your son’s +15 more years of heartache, I support your decision to limit the help you are providing.. I’ve seen this from a different perspective...my parents, now in their mid-seventies, continue to suffer the consequences of by brother’s self destructive behavior. It has affected every aspect of their lives. And their assistance and enabling hasn’t changed his using, not using, drama, suicide attempts, etc. one bit.
You’ll find lots of support on Friends and Families forum. I just wanted to say that I wish my parents had reconsidered their choices in this years ago. And if let to suffer the consequences of his behavior, there is a chance that my brother would have made different choice. It really is ok to look out for yourself.
Best wishes,
-bora