I thought I'd post a little bit of an update, if anyone cares
After a year of having our house on the market, we got two offers in one week in the beginning of July. We accepted an all cash offer (at asking price) that required me to be moved out of the house in two weeks. Holy crap! So I had a week to find a new place to rent--eek! I looked a few places--one of which was owned by a couple who agreed to hold it for me for two weeks (I was scared to sign a lease until I had the money in my bank account from the house) because they were having trouble finding a tenant who "fit in" with the neighbors, and said I was perfect.
I've been in the new place for about a month now! It's definitely an adjustment. It's not as nice as my old house, but it's just temporary and I made the decision to rent for a year because I have no idea where I want to live right now. I don't think I'm in a place to make that decision yet. In my house hunt, I explained my situation to a few of the landlords (not the alcoholism part, just the divorcing and renting for a while part) and I got a lot of validation that I was doing the right thing. I guess I never realized how common of a situation I'm in, until strangers start saying "yeah, I know how you feel, I was in the same place 3 years ago!"
And on my ex husbands birthday, about a month ago, we became officially divorced. It went pretty quickly. We did mediation--took about 2 hours total of discussion to come to an agreement. I had it reviewed by my attorney and she said it was a really fair agreement and the part in there about drug/alcohol testing was exactly what the judge would have put into the document. I am surprised he signed it, but whatever, that's over now!
Custody is as good as it could have been--he has him overnights every other long weekend (fri, sat, sun) and on Thursday afternoons just for dinner. His first weekend with him was earlier this month and I actually found myself enjoying it! I started booking some classes (cooking, crafts) for those weekends in the future. He did drop him off on Sunday afternoon instead of keeping him that night but... I'm not surprised.
My ex is at a somewhat stable point right now, which is why I am not freaking out about my son being over there. And he lives with his mother still. I don't think he is drinking anymore, but I'm pretty sure he's addicted to his adderall prescription, and he still takes large chunks of money out of his bank account after stressful weekends (strip clubs, I think). But it's not my bank account anymore, so whatever. I have a feeling he wont be able to maintain this normalcy forever, so I'm enjoying this time while I can, and keeping an eye on him in regards to keeping my son safe.
It's so funny, I spent a year basically spinning my wheels in the same place. And within two weeks the two biggest things hanging over my head (divorce, selling the house) were completely over.