Thank you for the kind words everyone. I am feeling very fragile.
The sofa is
not the cause of me feeling like this, it is a consequence. I was way off kilter mentally already, this has just made things worse. Doing impulsive out of character stuff. Sorta like we do when we are drinking but minus the drunk!
And this hating I can't explain. I am even struggling to watch tv.
Everything is annoying/ triggering me. Like voices in my head.
This all came out of nowhere a few weeks ago. Until then I was poodling along steadily. Up and down as in normal life. And pow! All this stuff in my head.
I am not actually craving a drink. I am craving to self medicate away these feelings. The only way I know how. One and the same thing I know.
Therapy = endless nhs waiting lists.
Finally after years of waiting I get given group therapy which is not, for me helpful at all. Yet I do go and I leave feeling worse. Unable to share in that setting, taking on others problems which trigger my own. I have raised my concerns but they have fallen on deaf ears.
I have opened a case with ebay. Yet another battle.
