Thanks so much Ann. I will definitely be hitting a meeting asap and I think my husband will join me either now or soon. He has done some things today that seem very healthy. In fact, he changed the lock on the front door, saying "if he doesn't want to live here then he cannot just come and go." So we can control this as needed. He can get in through the garage but we can disable as needed.
I haven't read that particular Melodie Beattie book but am a huge fan. In fact, I did her "Make Miracles in 40 days" program during the crisis with my brother and it changed my life and perspective. I refer to it as 'reverse gratitude' - for anyone that hasn't seen it, it's basically writing "Today I am grateful for:" then listing all the things that you absolutely are not grateful for underneath.
Sounds crazy; works miracles.