I'm sorry this is happening. It sounds horrible. Alcoholics are selfish people in active addiction. And as you say, it's stressful. I've been around friends and family that have become entirely different people when drinking. The uglies roll off of them in waves. Negative energy. And it drains people. Keep yourself out of that radius as much as possible. You can't keep him from being a d**k, but you are certainly entitled to protect yourself from it.