sheepherder

So I'm stressing out today. I'm not getting sleep. Maybe this is too minor to be stressing about, but I keep replaying it in my head.

This past weekend, a very weird thing happened. Every Saturday, I get up at 5:30 and do work, invoicing, mailing, etc, and my AH gets picked up for an AA meeting at 8:00 in the morning. When he gets home, we plan out our day with the things we both have to accomplish (work errands, food shopping, and some fun stuff, like estate sales, lunch, antique shopping, visiting my mother who has dementia and who is in assisted living, etc, etc), and I sort of make a list and map it out. That's what we did this past weekend.

This is just one example of what happened. First stop Saturday, Post Office. Earlier in the week, the newbie postal person made a mistake. Later in the day, I caught it, went back to the post office, had it all corrected, and everything was fine. On Saturday, when we went in, he started YELLING for the Postmaster to come out of his office so he could complain about what happened, and whether Ms. Newbie is going to be retrained, what he's going to do about it, what their policies are for people who make these kinds of mistakes, can she be fired, etc.

I was standing there mouth open, mortified. I go to the post office three times a week and am friends with everyone there. He's friends with them, too. They are super helpful. I tried to diffuse the situation, calm everyone down, apologized for his behavior and left. He said nothing to me, but I could tell he was fuming.

This is a new behavior for him. He has never ever been like that before. EVER. He's always been polite. I can't remember him raising his voice like that ever. He didn't appear drunk, just agitated. He used to work as a customer service manager and would always take a worker's side.

Saturday, everywhere we went, he did the same thing. Home Depot (why don't you carry these light bulbs any more? I want to speak to the manager), AT&T store (Why do I have to wait an hour to talk to someone), the bank (why are you holding this check until Tuesday), the food store (Why can't I use an expired coupon), estate sale (why won't you drop the price?), the assisted living (where is that CNA? She should have been here ten minutes ago), the restaurant . Each time I was horrified and very uncomfortable. It was like, What the heck is going on?? When we got home, he spent an hour calling the 800-number for the chain restaurant to complain that his salad wasn't fresh, and what were they going to do about it?? Sheesh.

I told him later I was upset about his behavior that day, and he said that's my problem, not his, because he was in the right. This is also something out of character for him to say to me.

So anyway, this is my question. If this happens again, do I say nothing and let him rant and rave? Just walk away and go to the car? Interrupt him and drag him out the door? Do I try to diffuse the situation (was that wrong)? Confront him and ask him what is going on (would he even say -- probably not)? Do I just go home and say, Forget it, I'll do all these things myself? I'm not sure what I should have done. I am so very flustered and frustrated.

I feel like I need time away. I dread the upcoming weekend. If I could, I would go away, but the friends I've called are either away or have relatives staying with them. I can't find a hotel that's not outrageously priced because it's a holiday weekend. To make things worse, it's his birthday Sunday, and also the day I met him 40 years ago. Ugh.

This particular behavior is so out of character for him, that it's giving me anxiety. I'm not sure why it's happening. Should I care why it's happening?

What do you guys think? Respond, don't react. Right? But exactly how do I respond to this behavior?

Thanks for listening.