I am sorry you feel this way. I have made many mistakes in my past and I regret wasted time, wasted money, wasted opportunities, wasted relationships, etc. But I am grateful to be clean today. I had to go through what I went through to get here. I needed to become ready to be honest with myself and reach out for help. Working the steps has helped me to deal with my guilt and accept the past. I can't change the past, but I can change my attitudes and actions today. I can avoid making the same mistakes again. Don't use, go to meetings, talk to your sponsor, work the steps, pray, and you will get through this. Best wishes!