Originally Posted by
Tatsy 
Not ghosting Drops, just avoiding my thread, as a protection mechanism, because my AV pounced upon the words of well meaning, kind hearted folks, who related their own experiences: that they couldn’t stop and stay stopped under their own power, that they needed outside agencies, etc. Thereby weakening my resolve that I had the power over what to place in my mouth (and feeding my AV).
I believe that stopping drinking once more, ignoring the AV, the addictive highway will become overgrown, and via the same process that it sprang back into life, the non-drinking neural highway will become fully operational. It’s just a mal-adaptive learning process, I believe, and this belief helps me.
I do hope I haven’t offended anyone. Tatsy’s back in control. I never really lost it. On reflection, I just abdicated my responsibility (credit to Fini and MesaMan).
This time it’s UNconditional, no matter what!
Hey Tats,
Glad you're back!
You didn't offend me, though I do wonder if I'm one of "those" people you perceive as weakening your resolve. Having just wrote that, I actually feel like calling you on that. In the world of AVRT, how do other people weaken
your resolve? I mean, I get it if we were helping you to rationalize drinking or asking you out for a cold one, that's the only way I can really see that happening.
I just read back over the past several days and see just one post that suggests you can't get and stay sober under your own power. Maybe there were more, but I didn't see them and anyhow the larger point is that you were citing reasons to drink like your outlook being bleak and your health probably being in ruins. You weren't saying, "I simply can not stop putting the booze in me," You were saying, "I am neither mentally or physically capable of getting out of this dire situation."
As far as drinking goes, I believe your AV was using your own perception of your AV against you if you know what I mean? Sort of like a smoke n mirrors show. It's every bit as clever and intellectual as you are, with a healthy shot of self-pity and fatalism mixed in. It will keep learning new tricks every time you give it a new opportunity.
So. We all know that drinking is irrational for people like us. We know that the urge/beast will only lie dormant as long as we don't feed it ANYthing. Doesn't matter which stop drinking route you follow, this is a singular truth throughout everything I've ever heard, read, been taught or experienced.
I can't speak for anyone else, but from what I've read (your words), it seems that you have virtually debilitating worries or hurts or stressors that are impacting your overall mood and outlook. At least they feel that way at times. Trimpey says straight up that AVRT will do absolutely nothing to help with those other problems. My suggestion that you get those things out in some way that involves interacting with other people (here or elsewhere) was intended to address those bits.
My apologies to you if I have given offense, Tats. I think as much as you'd like to be an Amazonian Warrior with the rationality of a machine, you're actually a real person with mushy inside parts; one of whom I've become very fond and one for whom I wish only the very best.
xo
O
p.s. I hope I don't sound all holier than thou; I surely am the least qualified for that crown. If I just ticked you off, it's of course fine to say so here on
your thread or by PM. But I hope I didn't.
