Not ghosting Drops, just avoiding my thread, as a protection mechanism, because my AV pounced upon the words of well meaning, kind hearted folks, who related their own experiences: that they couldn’t stop and stay stopped under their own power, that they needed outside agencies, etc. Thereby weakening my resolve that I had the power over what to place in my mouth (and feeding my AV).
I fully tried outside agencies twice. They didn’t work, for me. When I landed on SR shore in 2016, I learnt a method that worked for me, AVRT. After decades of problematic drinking, the last years of which were all day, every day, so pretty hardcore.
The AVRT threads on SR and the kind folks who experienced success, taught me how to utilise my own power, my higher brain, and ignore the AV, the base-brain/ego’s mal-adaptive desire to drink, as a coping mechanism.
I didn’t drink again because AVRT failed me (the AV saying you can drink normally now after two and a half years and me agreeing) I drank because I made the choice to ‘knock myself out with alcohol’.
What I didn’t envisage, and after much research, now realise, is the originally laid down, alcohol seeking neural pathways in my brain, would immediately ramp back up to previous levels, as a diversion from the non-drinker status pathway.
Drinking alcohol, brought into action the brush cutters, lawnmowers, chainsaws and the alcohol seeking neural pathway was fully cleared. It became a super-smooth hghway, which diverted my thinking from the sober highway, to the addictive highway, at previous imbibing levels. It was shockingly fast.
I believe that stopping drinking once more, ignoring the AV, the addictive highway will become overgrown, and via the same process that it sprang back into life, the non-drinking neural highway will become fully operational. It’s just a mal-adaptive learning process, I believe, and this belief helps me.
I do hope I haven’t offended anyone. Tatsy’s back in control. I never really lost it. On reflection, I just abdicated my responsibility (credit to Fini and MesaMan).
This time it’s UNconditional, no matter what!