Freckles and smiles, Happy Thanksgiving! Isn't this a wonderful thing where you can reach out and someone else knows and understands how you are feeling?
This will be my second Thanksgiving sober. I pray that it goes better than last year. I had a lot of expectations built around last year. Since I was sober I thought we'd all be happy and have a "Martha Stewart" type holiday. Didn't happen. My 19 year old son acted like an ass the whole time, I couldn't get my Dad to return my phone calls and I stayed on pins and needles the whole time. After everyone left I just burst into tears and let it all out. I shared with my SO what I was feeling and he talked me through it (he has almost 17 years sober). This year I am trying not to have any expectations of the day. My plan is to turn it over to God and just try to do the next right thing and trust that everything will work out just the way it is supposed to. If my son chooses to act like an ass again this year then so be it. I will not take it on as a reflection of me and I will not take it personally (or at least I'll try not to).
This year I have so much to be grateful for and I will focus on that. My daughter was gravely ill a week and a half ago and I could have lost her had it not been for the doctors at Texas Children's Hospital ICU. She is home and back to a normal 15 year old. We have a baby due at any time (my sister) and I get to be in the delivery room. I have a good job, a good relationship with my SO and my family (even my son at times), I have my health, and I'm not drunk. So, all in all, I have a lot to be grateful for.
As for the emotions, letting them is out is the best thing you can do. Cry, throw an old fashioned tantrum if you need to (away from others of course LOL!), journal them, whatever you have to do. Part of life on life's terms is getting to experience the emotions we used to avoid by drinking or using. We missed out on a lot. Yeah, we have to go through the not so great emotions and that sucks, but we also get to go through the happiness and joy when those moments come. We are sober so we get to enjoy them fully and remember them the next day. Pretty cool huh?
Hugs to you both!
Kellye