I'm voting "legit"..... don't gloss over the fact that you & your Ex were still actively engaged in legal battles & that alone may have held you off from
really feeling your anger that was independent of grieving his sudden death. I mean, c'mon - he was making your life a living hell whenever & however possible.
So now that he has passed, you finally have the emotionally safe space to let it go. It IS complicated & multi-layered.
I LOST IT on a guy in Walgreens one morning about a year ago & while he was rude & wrong, my reaction was outrageous & not at all like the Recovering Me. I'm talking shaking from head to toe, could not stop engaging, taking his crappy behavior personally type of Fury.
It was like a volcano erupted & I could not stop it if I wanted to - my anger had been waiting for a trigger/release & as soon as opportunity knocked, I flung the door open wide & took full advantage of the validation to let my anger fly. I shared the story with my boss (we're close friends too) & a few days later, a battery-operated therapy cat arrived for me.
Personally, I think it's a good thing that you're going through this Sasha - it's evidence that you are moving through the emotions instead of stuffing them down so that they geyser back up in the form of sickness or depression years from now. It's hell to go through but it's better than staying stuck. It's HEALTHY.
