Thank you all for your continuing support. Day 3 successful and Day 4 dawns!
I want to post this here, because it was instrumental in my girdling my sobriety loins. It was posted by our esteemed Dee74 on Obladi’s Thread Part One.
It struck me as helpful equating the Addiction/AV as a parasite, which negated it’s power. As opposed to the Addiction/AV being a Beast. In my mind, a parasite is tiny and powerless, compared to its larger host: me. Whereas a Beast, could be deemed to be stronger and more powerful than a human. I am a higher being, I make the decisions, not the parasite/beastie.
This post struck a symphony of chords in my mind. It spoke directly to me, was a mirror of my experience, to include the losses. So here it is in full: thank you Dee! ❣
My addiction loved it when I 'pushed the boat out',
Lose my job? great - more time to drink...
Push away everything and everyone I hold dear? great - more reason to drink and less impediments.
Our addiction is basic and primeval - it doesn't care about anything but the next drink. It's a basic parasite and not even a good one at that - it doesn't even had a survival instinct - if the host dies, too bad, at least It'll die sated.
It wants you not to care - about jobs, about relationships, about health, about self worth....
Even if you can't love yourself today thats not reason enough to continue the self destruction.
That's its agenda, not yours.
Even on this thread its obvious you are loved and respected,
Whatever babbling BS the AV has got going in your head is a total lie.
You're a higher being - the basic parasitic AV cannot compete with that. You hold the power.