Yes, FreshStartOk! That’s the voice, my AV, Alcoholic or Addict or Addiction Voice. It always lies. After the first few months of stopping drinking, it disappeared, rarely raised its head. Occasionally, but it was trivial, mowed the lawn in the summer, ‘let’s have a drink’. Celebration ‘let’s have a drink, just one toast’. I always ignored it.
Until, after tumultuous circumstances, I listened to the lying AV and it’s siren call, that I could switch off the grief, ‘take the edge off’ with a coupe of drinks. Nooooo not so, those brain neuronal pathways fired straight back up. Not drinking is wonderful, truly. I’ll never drink again