Checking in
Hello all. I promised to check in when cravings got to the point of being uncomfortable so here I go. I have been toying with the idea of going to get a couple of bottles of wine and zoning out in my apartment tonight. I have somewhat changed my mindset from getting a few weeks under my belt and then another few weeks to taking it down to days - and today that means one day! The truth is I have been up and down like a yo-yo, but the ups have been so nice. And they very often follow a tough day. I know if I make it through today that I will wake up tomorrow and use that new Gortex rain suit I just bought on a long hike and feel great. And I will keep the run going. It's all about keeping the run going and getting more and more sober time and training the brain not to respond that exact same way every time. Eventually I know that brain will stop "expecting" it and "asking" for me to go seek it. Thankfully it's 6.50PM here so close to dinner time. Gonna order myself some nice food and get an early night.
I can now see that there is no part of drinking that makes my life better but those urges from the mid-brain are just gonna come and that's the way it is. It's not an actual endorsement of drinking just my brain doing what I have trained it to do. Well, this is me untraining it.
Any and all support welcome!!