Hi and thanks
Q: Is she sober? A: I don't know - should I do BAC tests? Seriously tho, I can't tell - over time she has figured out how to maintain composure and not slur when speaking, so I truly can't say with 100 pct. certainty.
She has to help herself and I'm all-in if she does. I might even get her doc to admit her to a program if she can't because of the health risks with her liver*, but basically I'm just at a point we should have been at years ago (when I was in full-on panic mode and made the first posts) with a long road ahead. I'm not so naive as to say I see light at the end of the tunnel, but at least we're in the tunnel.
She's dealing with some other stuff, and alcohol is always her answer to feeling better, so she is doubly "at risk" to give in to temptation right now. And sadly, she probably thinks that because she isn't "critical" anymore, she can manage things with moderation -- everybody join me here and say " RIIIIIIIIIGHT!"
BTW, for the doubters and cynics (me being one of the biggest), any words of hope I may have used in my intro are just that, hope. I don't expect rainbows and bowls of cherries, but I do know she CAN do this is she tries. I also feel good knowing its becoming an open issue, so others (friends, family) will get on board... ugh.... but THAT is another issue entirely, because she has only told one friend who is not part of the rest of her social circle. She's claiming its "too hard" right now due to another issue she's dealing with - and I'm sure that's true to a degree - but yeah I know, until she comes out and tells friends and family openly that she was in bad health solely due to alcohol consumption and needs to make a good choice for personal health and stop drinking, she'll just kick the can down the road - probably just sneak drinks and all that. So that's the goal: Get her to say the iconic line of an AA meeting: Hi, my name is _____, and I am an alcoholic. I'm yet to hear her speak straight up like that yet. So for now, all this is speculation - we'll see what happens.
Meanwhile, yes, I do have a hobby that my son and I enjoy together which is wonderful when do it, tho he is what everyone tells me is a "typical teen" and doesn't open up to me anymore. A lot of that I have worried was the tension due to Mom's drinking (which she learned to cover up pretty darn well), but speaking to friends with teens, it sounds more "typical teen" than dysfunction in the home.
But he seems well-adapted academically and is an honor student. Has some friends that are all high achievers and wonderful influences, so thank God for that!
And no, I've not gone to counseling since I was told no one would see the two of us unless and until she was in a program - so I guess we can try someday soon. I have found talking to " a professional" had mixed results. Maybe I'll get to an al anon meeting while she is in this 2-month program. I just don't want to become a "professional meeting-goer" or regular source of income for a counseling firm.
* This all started with me getting the family doc involved. When she came in for annual tests, they looked at liver function. That night, the Dr. called and said "get her to the hospital" - - where the attending physician said she had poisoned herself but that the liver could heal with abstinence and good life/health choices.