Thank you all for the wonderful response. I've taken alot of it along with my couselors advice. Ann Had a great post by Dr Wayne Dyer. I hate admitting it but, being all I mentioned is a choice I make sometimes. However, if recovery has given me only one thing it is the power, the power to change. Not others, not places and not things. The power to change how life events affect me. Thinking things out instead of trying to drink things out is the key today. I'm not going to allow these events or other to draw me back. Like you said hope, to feel feelings like sad, hurt etc is normal. to wallow in them isn't. That, now that I think of it, was alcoholic behavior. Wallowing in all that went wrong. Do you guys ever feel like me. Strange but, I feel like I'm bringing myself up. I mean my wife once said' All you kids brought yourselves up. However, in many cases wrong. Today, I'm raising a child within me. I'm learning thing I should have learned as a child. Right from wrong etc. In fact I'm going to start a new thread and see if thers can identify. History, not just anniversaries but, in my case events. Mostly events that I have to learn are out of my control.