Am I in another stage of denial? We are moving forward with divorce. It’s heart breaking. I haven’t really had time or space to grieve yet. I’m guessing I will after he leaves. We’ve reached a decent settlement but are still a little shaky on custod/visitation.

He broke out in a flop sweat today at court. His hands were shaking. My lawyer said she’d bet money on him being hungover. My friend an A in recovery is 100% convinced he’s still drinking. I’m not. If he is he is SO GOOD at hiding it. He sounds so sober. He seems so sober. Friend thinks he’s using alcohol to just maintain normalcy at this point.

STBX really balked at having language in the parenting agreement that states he will be sober when kiddo is in his care. He said he “didn’t want to be painted with a brush.” He was worried about it being on his permanent record. I got him to agree to write that we will both abstain from mind altering substances when kid is with us. We will both be able to call and communicate with each other and kid during overnights.

My concern is that I am consigning my son to witnessing and being parented by a drunk person. And that my son will grow up with the same warped view of people that I did. I don’t know how to protect him from that without completely going full bore for full custody and having a terrible, awful divorce and chaos for months and months.