noodle.....you are trying to create a new life for yourself...and good for you!
I think that it would be a good idea to cultivate a whole new social circle....with new acquaintences and friends who have no connection to your past relationships. No old baggage...lol....
This situation sounds like too much triangling….and, it seems that a lot of trust has been broken.....and, on top of it all,,,,they seem to be dragging the past into the present.....uuugh…..
Maybe, a new boundary for yourself regarding the ex husband? He doesn't need any information, what so ever about who you are spending your time with......and, vice versa....It just works better that way, I think.....