Ambivalence disguised as nostalgia wrapped in the robe of self-deceit. I would only agree that for some alcohol can be a release, a pleasure and provide some good. For us here though, it's a destroyer of worlds.
As you say, it's the cause of 100% of your life's problems. I'm a father, and I wonder if you really got the truth from your children what you would learn about their feelings regarding your alcohol use. Hope you can come to terms with your ambivalence sooner than later.