Hardest day so far
I nearly drank today I'm so ashamed to say that after 13 days of fighting,getting healthy,and cleaning up the destruction I cause after I drink I came so close today and now I'm scared for tomorrow...I went to see my mum which is an hours drive away from my home...she drinks and after being there for 5 min's she asked for her usual lift to the shop...I dont see my mum often we can go months with no contact but when I did see her it would revlove around alcohol so today was hard and it was a sunny day the usual triggersI knew I couldn't drink there but decided I couldn't do this anymore and would drink when I got home I've mentioned before that I'm coming upto 40 soon and my av is telling me don't bother just start after my birthday everyday all day it's whispering but last time I drank which is only 13 days ago but somehow feels like a lifetime ago was awful the worst it's ever been I could have lost everything...I realised today I can't deal with my feeling when I vist my mum we have so much underlying things we never dealt with but we also have so much love for each other...anyway ..something happened on the drive home i was driving through beautiful countryside and looked at my gorgeous son sitting next to me and the craving went..I know it will be back tomorrow but for today I won... I need a plan for tomorrow but for today I won so screw you av and here's to another night of decent sleep which is starting to be my favourite thing about sobriety so goodnight everybody sorry for my rambling