(((Don))) First, thank you for coming here and sharing your feelings. I am going to add some things..and maybe just "one" thing will help
When I was faced with a terminal illness, I remember my doctor asking me if I was depressed.
I told him yes. TO my surprise, he said "good, because I would be worried about you if you were not" I had to absorb what he was telling me. It was normal to feel depressed, and I did not need to deny my fears or worries.
Often times we are just so overwhelmed with our own things, and with things that surround us. For me,leaving my codependency aside...I have a genuine love and concern for my loved ones. No, I cannot fix them, but I am not void of feelings. My mom is dying as you probably know, my daughter is in prison, and there are my own health issues and my recovery also. I am not comparing..only sharing
And I am doing so with compassion.
What works for me, is to say it outloud. Sometimes to other people, and sometimes just to myself. Sometimes I have to set everything serious aside, and feed that playful side to me that can get buried underneath all the serious things in life. I have to allow myself to come out to play. Knowing in the back of my mind, that I am not running "from", I am just taking a much needed break. Sometimes I get fun movies, or I get comical and I even laugh about it all. NOT in a bad way, but just at the absurdity of it all. That is a release for me. I always find that I can get right back on track. I know my other option..and if I give into the darkness and let it get it's grips on me, I have added yet another problem to what I am already dealing with.
We are not supposed to have all the answers. And we can only allow others to work through their own pain, and troubles and allow them follow their paths in life.
We can share our light, and borrow some from others when we need it. I have had to surrender to many things. Surrendering releases many feelings for me.
There is much consolation is knowing we are not alone. Even when we feel that we are. Hold onto all that you have accomplished and feel very proud of where you are. When we are in the midst of difficult times, it can be hard to remember all the good. BUT, the good is still there.
Be gentle on Don. Be accepting and loving to yourself, because you deserve it. This too shall pass...And remember for those times that we struggle and for those times that we are hurting, we are still being given a gift. It may be a test of our strength, but if we hold on, we come out..and we come out better and better each time...
God Bless!
Hopefloats