Missy, I can relate to that cold chill that you get when a minor craving or thought of alcohol crosses your mind. Like the minor craving, I experience only a minor chill, but it's still minimally and momentarily disturbing. After 25 years, it has lessened and I'd be hard pressed to say that it upsets me, but it is an ominous reminder of who I am. I don't think that goes away. We carry many memories. One of them might be memory of a situation where we enjoyed a pleasant moment or two with alcohol, and it's normal for these to surface from time to time. I'm not sure I want them to go away completely, but that's irrelevant because I don't think I can wash my past away from me, anyway. It's always going to be there. But I do seem to be quite able to choose not to drink. And that's a power that I do control.
Just as these cravings appear, it's more important to maintain the mindset of not reaching for a drink when they come along, as well as not reacting to major challenges in our life by drinking. My usual reaction to these unexpected visitations from my past is to pass them off with a chuckle. God forbid this should ever become a serious challenge. I wouldn't like that at all, but I'm content to just laugh them off. And I think that every time I do, I'm just a wee bit farther along in recovery. And that part of the reaction always gives me a confidence boost.
At this stage in your shoes, I'd utilize AA as long as it helps. No program is perfect, but they don't need to be. Eventually, you can let go, but early on, I'd be careful about ditching something that seems to help.