Yes, Wholesome (Zen) grief instigated this self-indulgent drinking episode and fuelled it.
I love that you mentioned kicking off the chains, because I dug out a book today, on the cover, saw the butterfly, released from its chains. Beautiful release from entrapment.
And that can be me, again, if only I stand up for my freedom, and eschew self-indulgence. I need to put an end to this self-induced pity-party. Thank you all, for your posts, I appreciate everyone of you.