I drove drunk too in the past. I am ashamed that I did it, and plenty of times.
I was driving the same route I used to take two days ago, and every time I am in that place I think about what I did, and feel such regret and also thankfulness I never hurt anyone.
Sweeti, I am not a bully and I have offered you a great deal of positive support. I do hope that you read through this thread when you have some sober time and distance, and look for the compassion instead of the perceived attacks.
I think time is running out for you. Please take care of yourself and use the resources you have found to beat your addiction.