Originally Posted by
CupofJoe 
Hi Sweeti,
I'm sorry you're not taking recovery seriously. I wish you would because sobriety is worth working for.
Recovery is not posting the reasons you drank after the fact. Recovery is not saying why programs won't work for you. That's like going to the gym, refusing to work on any of the equipment, and wondering why you're not building muscle, then storming out saying that gyms don't work.
Recovery is working a program (any program, some people find recovery through this site alone, provided they're willing to be honest and accountable). Recovery is changing from the inside out--which involves being thoroughly honest with yourself. Recovery is asking for help and then doing what you're told.
Recovery involves doing whatever it takes to not take that first drink so that you can begin to heal.
Recovery is an internal growth. Honesty. Open-mindedness. Willingness.
This is all said with kindness and compassion. You're on a path where only you can choose if you want to live or die. I was on the same path. Please choose wisely and don't waste your life.
xo
Joe put into words very eloquently what I was thinking.
Anyone who is willing to be completely honest and work any sort of program as if his or her life depended on it (and sweeti, your life does depend on it) can recover. AA works. SMART works. Rational Recovery works. Outpatient works. Inpatient works. SR works. They ALL work, if you do the work. The work doesn't get done for you. There are no miracle cures here. You can't "sign up" for a program and expect any results if you don't commit yourself with every fiber of your being, all day, every day, for as long as it takes. Is it fun? Is it easy? No. Is it really painful sometimes? Will you be very uncomfortable at times? Yes.
The choice is yours, Sweeti. Do you want to end up in a nursing home and surely die from this disease, or do you want to save yourself? That's what it really comes down to. Your actions so far indicate you are choosing to die. That's unbearably sad, and I hope you change your mind and take the help that everyone here, your doctors, the treatment program, and AA is ready and willing to give you.