I was a lot like you Misssy in that much of my drinking was an attempt to help/self-medicate my anxiety. It was only after I stopped drinking that I finally realized the anxiety was there and sought the proper treatment for it.
I have been seeking help for my anxiety via therapy for about 4 years now and i've also tried a couple of meds. In my personal opinion, anxiety meds really only helped treat the symptoms of my anxiety - not the causes. One of the meds I tried made things worse, and the other did help me get "over the hump" so to speak. But in the end, the things that have given me lasting relief is the things I've learned in counseling. Mindfulness and meditation, exercise, cutting back/eliminating stimulants ( caffeine, sugar ), getting enough sleep, and of course counseling. I only see my counselor every month or so now, but I still feel it's important to do so and make sure i'm on track.
I desperately wanted a pill that would just make it all go away too, but unfortunately i don't think one exists. Meds can surely help - but they are part of a larger strategy.