Thanks Ann, I was thinking on the way home. Maybe, I'm being taught a lesson. Most of the things I mentioned I have no control over. Yet for years I tried. About the only items I control is my decision to not drink and the decision about the job offer. The reason for the offer was my sobriety. I was a good worker but, had the alcohol problem. I quit before being fired. They heard I'd turned things around. Oh, and I have control over being the best son I can be. This past weekend I helped the nurses by feeding my mother. Maybe, my gift you speak of is being able to give the gift of just plain love. I just have learned from my past. And although only thoughts, past behavior unchecked led to drinking for escape from LIFE. Really, maybe that's all that is happening Life. Hugs back to you. By the way. If you're still up check the Pandas out. They look like a couple of cats laying on their back. Go to Mental Health, Panda Alert, if you don't already have the site. I forgot, you might be on to something. I have problems when I get close to mile stones. I'm getting close to 3 years. I'm going to try your suggestion about adding to my program. I have resumed reading which helped, and then I stopped.