Originally Posted by
Milano58 
Wow. God you really got me thinking. When I was growing up my dad was a very aggressive alcoholic. There was no separation back then so my mum was stuck but we absolutely lived in a permanent flight mode. We honestly never knew what was coming home to us. It lasted 21yrs until mum was finally able to separate. We didn't know wot to do with ourselves, we were so accustomed to a level of constant stress. I actually buggered off to the US to nanny.. I told my host family straight up that I needed to know what normal was. Unfortunately I only got normal for maybe 3-4yrs before EXAH spiralled very slowly off the wagon. I put up with ANOTHER active alcoholic for 6months before God/universe/****** off ancestors stepped in and kicked him out.
I didn't know yoga helped.. Have a private yoga session on Sunday. I went to one of Dr Joe's lectures long before he was a thing and found his take on belief systems and how the brain is wired fascinating. I actually met Bruce Lupton that same year... If only I'd met an addiction Councillor... Doh!!
I've done some inner child work with a reiki practitioner and that's cleared up a lot. I'm realised that I'm finding the geery but gorgeous (safe) men attractive now. So I'm hoping that I'm enjoying life in the calm lane immensely and not looking for stress.
However... I'm about to pursue a life long ambition of becoming a foster mum. Most of the kids will come from abusive backgrounds. I just hope I'm not trying to create some new stress in my life. I don't feel like I am. I just want to help. Sorry for hi-jacking..
Not hijacking at all. Yes yoga teaches us how to become more connected with our bodies, looking inward instead of to external things, which a lot if people myself include are expert at! (In codependency, focusing on the addict). Cultivating sensory awareness allows us to recognise what our bodies need especially when recovering from trauma, and yoga, meditation and mindfullness all help us get better at this. Noticing what we feel fosters emotional regulation and helps us stop ignoring what's going on in our bodies.
I think a big awareness for me is this, that trauma makes us feel like we are stuck forever in that state. In yoga one learns that sensations rise and fall, recognising that though some parts are uncomfortable, they dont last, everything is transitory and can help change our perspective. Also our bodies trap emotional energy and yoga can help release this energy.
Brain researchers have showed in studies that meditation has a positive effect on the areas of the brain critical for physiological self regulation.
Sounds like you recognise that fight or flight mode very well, so many people live in this and dont know there's another way of being. I'm on that path myself as you are, finding less "charismatic" men interesting but going for the safer ones, and it takes getting used to doesn't it. In fact at the moment I'm not interested in dating at all and I'm questioning if that's ok lol, as for a long time I've been the opposite but I expect my body us just so happy not to be around drama or trauma. Best of luck with the fostering, I'm sure you'll be amazing.