Struggling
Hi,
I'm on day 11 and yesterday was really tough. My Nan is dying and we were told now was our chance to say our goodbyes. I spent the day with her yesterday and my family. Last night I dreamt about drinking all night. I woke up today and all I can think about is drinking. I want to drive to the beach and just drink on my own. I've told a couple of people who know I struggle with the drink and they've been supportive. I would say my mind was made up at least 90% at one point this morning but right now I'm feeling like maybe I can work through it. I know all the reasons I shouldn't drink I honestly do. I'd say right now I'm at about 50/50 on whether I'm going to drink today. I have 2 funerals in the next month and both are going to be horrible. I still haven't got myself a new job. I feel alone. Alcohol will make it all worse I know but I know it will give me temporary relief from all this stress and pain. Obviously that won't help long term. I guess I just need to get through today if I can and hope tomorrow brings me some more strength.