4 months is too early to have any idea who you really are yet. It takes sometime for emotions to settle down. If I were really the person I felt like at 4 months I probably would have gone back to drinking. I didn't like that person much. Sure - there were good days and glimmers of hope, but I was irritable, weepy, angry, remorseful, etc etc. at that time. It wasn't fun. But because I was in outpatient treatment and going to AA on a regular basis, I knew it would get better. I saw my counselors at treatment, all recovering people themselves, having very nice lives and feeling good about themselves. I saw lots of people with some solid sobriety time in AA who were living the kind of life I wanted. So I tried to be patient. With myself, with others. That wasn't easy - as an alcoholic, I wanted quick fixes. I was frustrated at times - where was my happy new life? Why hadn't everyone forgiven me yet? Where were those "promises?" I had to learn to temper my expectations.
Takes time. It does get better.