Congrats on 4 months!
Well, at least for me, removing alcohol didn't reveal some 'new' me. I was a similar me, just not drinking.
No doubt alcohol kept me from doing many things. I mean, I could go on about that for an hour. So removing alcohol, and giving myself time to heal and adjust, just allows me the opportunity to 'fix' and/or create aspects of myself.
You mention being able to ignore other people better when drunk. Really we ignore ourselves when drunk....so things that I don't like about me are more tolerable when drinking. Forget about other people, I have no control over them. This is all about my actions, reactions and choices.
Its about emotional maturity. Or IQ. To find the 'new' you, you need to embrace the holistic you. Figure out what your assets are and what you deficits are. What your values are. Align motive and intent with those values.
It isn't about anyone else. It's about you.