Hello Callas,
Congratulations on 4 months, that is huge. SR is a great place to share where you are with people who understand. This site has always been an inspiration, and many people here have helped me. I am also very active in AA, and sponsor 4 men, as well as doing service work in the county jail every week.
I often say to newcomers that we spent a good deal of our lives, drinking and becoming very good at what we do.....until that became a problem. The First Step in a 12 step recovery program has two parts to it. The second after admitting we are powerless, is that our lives have become unmanageable. The 12 steps and the first 164 pages of the AA Big Book teach us how to learn to live again without alcohol. So recovery is a process, especially if we have been drinking for years. It has become so much a part of the fabric of our lives, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It takes time to relearn how to live a sober life. We spent 10-20-30 years walking into the woods of alcoholism, fumbling our way. It will take a while to find our way back out of the woods. Remember that you cannot do this alone, as hard as you try. Surrendering our will allows us to relax and enjoy the new journey of self discovery. Be patient, and kind to yourself.
I find when I attend a meeting or do service work, that I am working with people who understand how I think, and as an alcoholic, I think very differently than many people. That helps keep me be aware of who I really am. Progress, not perfection.
For me getting a good sponsor in AA, and really digging deep, working the steps,opened so many new doors. I am 5 years sober now, and look forward to every new day.
Keep up the good work, 4 months is great, you are on the way!
Thank You,
BSA