toosweet - welcome to SR.
I understand all too well about the money thing. My ex owes me over $35,000. I too thought that I would just write it off as a "codie tax". Until I thought "Hell no! I earned that money fair and square. I may have been naive to lend it to him, but why should he get away with not paying me back?" So I asked him for it back. That was a year ago. He told me he would pay me when he got some money. Nothing came. Then I found out he went away to Jamaica with a woman he met on-line. Then I found out he'd bought her lots of jewellry over there. Then I found out they got engaged and were planning a wedding. Then I realised that, in effect, I was paying for all of this stuff.
So I have served papers on him. He is still wriggling like a maggot on a hook and trying to manipulate me by saying that he doesn't have any money to pay the rent and that he "can't live on fresh air." Well, I'm sorry. He should've thought about that when he was spending my repayments. I have stripped all the emotion out of the situation and am now simply dealing with the facts. He owes me money and hasn't paid. I want the money back. End of story.
I am afraid that many alcoholics (and addicts) have no scruples when they are using. They will go to any lengths to get their needs met, even if it means screwing over innocent people. So we have to toughen up and stand up for ourselves if we don't want to let them walk all over us. Many of us thought that our partners were wonderful when they were sober, until we realised that they were that way for a reason - manipulation.
You have a tough road ahead, but you are not on your own.