Had a little recovery tantrum last night, same behavior I had when I was drinking. Got mad at something, I can't even remember what it was. I get so mad at myself for the lack of self control. I'm freaking out about my wife leaving town Saturday for a week, she's visiting a friend in Ann Arbor. The last time she took a trip like that I went on a bender. I hate being alone, we've been married for almost 41 years and have been connected at the hip most of that time. We're like twins, we even say the same things at the same time. I guess I need to make some plans to combat my loneliness and preserve my precious sobriety. I work from home so being in this vacuum is perilous. Thinking I'll go to some spin classes and bug my daughter to visit me, maybe go to Blackhawk and play some slots or blackjack.
I have an annual checkup with my doc in 90 mins. Freaking out about that, too. I hate going to the doctor. Mine is a vegan and he's always pushing his plant based diet, drives me nuts. I'll tell him I ate two hot dogs with chili last night, maybe that will shut him up! I can hardly wait for it to be over, so stressed.