OP, Here's an excerpt from your good bye letter to alcohol (almost 5 years back):
"It wasn’t as fun anymore. The wake of destruction left behind everywhere we went was filled with sadness and hurt. It was clear that we had changed. I had changed. I was hurting those around me. I was hurting myself. It just wasn't fun anymore. Inside I’ve known for a long time, but recently it became tragically apparent to me, that I can no longer have you in my life. I will destroy myself if we do not separate. I will die. Because I am in a tough spot in my life, I don’t value my life all that much. But I can not hurt my children any more. I am a man. I will provide the love and care and essentials that they provide as long as I’m alive, and I hope that is for a long time. I will miss you dearly Alcohol. But I’ve lost too much. My bleak future is too certain with us together. I know that you will not be lonely. I know that you never meant to hurt me. I’ve tried every way imaginable to avoid having to write this letter. I never wanted this. I have come to admit that I am powerless and I can not survive with you in my life. Goodbye Alcohol. I’m sorry.
"
What are you going to do differently this time? Of course, we are always here to support but do you hate alcohol enough to carry on without it forever?