I went into AA meetings having already "worked through" my past trauma and forgiven those involved (including myself) many years previous. My drinking was becoming a problem and I was isolated. So I looked for the fellowship, but I didn't realize they would be (as you said) all about the past and rehashing the gory details. I didn't and still don't think AA meetings and/or a sponsor are the place to go over unresolved trauma. I think it can open up very painful vulnerable parts of myself and then I am unprotected from the untrained comments of strangers all of whom are recovering alcoholics who may likely have boundary issues themselves and who are not likely to keep my discussion confidential.
I am of the belief that 4th & 5th Steps should be done with qualified therapists or clergy, especially for people who have significant trauma to process. One thing that is good about AA is that it shines a light on that tender underbelly and may facilitate actual progress in overcoming the past through therapy, as you are discovering.
The good thing about meetings is that they are a relatively safe place to work out in a general way how to get along with people and how to find support for not drinking, which isn't going to happen out in the world. Off-balance newly sober people are chaotic and it's the one place where their instability is allowed and they are encouraged to, "Keep coming back," and are given basic tools for living. I only went for a few months but I saw some remarkable changes happen to people. It's a valuable resource and without it a lot of people wouldn't know where to even start.
Lots of ways to stay sober, and indeed it is a self-directed path. Welcome to our little corner of the internet.
Hope you stick around. It helped me a lot to be on this site.