I felt like that all the time in the first 6 months off booze. I say it like it is a drug...like cocaine, meth, or crack because it is.
My years of drinking caused immediate and long term irreversible brain damage. If I drink again, I will do more damage.
The nature of addiction lies in my emotions. I have a lifetime of emotional desire to drink I must battle with analytical ability.
At first it was harder. These days the crave, emotional calling to drink, seems to come in new ways. But, when I really think about it, it is the same way but feels new.
Folks regret relapse after decades of sobriety. I sound like a broken record with this stuff, but that is ok.
I'd rather be a broken record than a relapsed active drug (booze is my DOC) addict.
Nothing fancy going on with me today or forever. I drank and quit drinking like a boss rock star. Those days are over. That ship has sailed.
Addict for life.
Thanks.