Originally Posted by
Callas 
I believe one should first get sober and stay sober for a substantial period before dissecting the reasons for one’s alcoholism. For some the causes matter and for others not. For me the end result is alcoholism and the solution sobriety. The causes are just interesting by-products.
I could not agree more. It really doesn't matter why you drank. Sometimes looking for those reasons does more harm than good, like you're just fishing for an excuse to start drinking again. What matters is that drinking is bad for you and
will kill you and severely mess your life up as it does that.
Dandelion, I know you are in a lot of pain, but you're not alone in this. Life is full of trauma, drama, and bumps and bruises. The First Noble Truth of Buddhism is "To live is to suffer." Drinking won't kill your pain; it will make it worse. I hope you find your way out.