ps: sorry not too much advice to offer, obviously. I have a couple of thoughts about that.
1) yes, self sabotage is real
2) beyond that, it's also the adrenal system (amongst other biological functions) that are looking for some sort of juice. If it's not cigarettes, it might be caffeine or sugar or other drugs. Essentially the body is looking for an outside boost because waiting for the internal equilibrium is just too long and too difficult to endure.