Originally Posted by
Dandelion12 
Why cant I just accept it and be content with my lot in life.
im so tired of trying to fix myself.
i had issues long before I picked up a drink.
Im 55 and Im beaten.
I just want some peace.
You are not a loser, like most of us, you are a product of,
"The Addictive Belief System."
“I should be perfect and perfection is possible; I should be all-powerful controlling myself and others; I should always get what I want and life should be without pain and require little or no effort.” The simple truth is that life will never be easy, fair and painless. We are never going to always get what we want. Intellectually, we may know this, but emotionally...not so much. The problem is, that the addictive personality believes that life should be easy, fair and painless! When we allow ourselves to think in this, "entitled," fashion, we lower our threshold to adversity, to feeling frustrated, helpless and overwhelmed. If we insist on avoiding emotional pain, on being comfortable all the time, we will seek ways to avoid reality, to escape our negative mood. With respect to addictive thinking, this type of corrupted belief system is the very core of addictive thinking and can lead to attempting to regain control with a, "Quick fix or mood changer," of drugs and or other errant behaviors, all designed to change the way we feel emotionally.
"No man is free until they master themselves." Epictetus.
You are about to embark on a grand journey if you allow it.
Feelings and behaviors are caused by a person's thoughts, not on outside stimuli like people, situations and events. People may not be able to control their external circumstances, but they can
change how they think about them and therefore change how they feel and behave (Romans 12:2).