Hi and new here
Hi, my name is Jeri and I just found this board. To start with a little about me. I am a 27 year old working mother of 2 boys, ages 4 and 5, and a wife (married 4 years Nov. 12, lamost made it). Although my husband and I have been seperated for 3 weeks now. We were regular, him more than once a week and I about once a week, when he decided to come home, crack smokers and the occasional cocaine users. I, myself, have been clean during the 3 weeks he has been gone.
I was tired and disappointed in us and 3 weeks ago friday, he wanted to leave to *meet* someone, I asked him that if he did leave, not to come back....and well he didn't. I am sick and tired of the drug usage, I want to go on and be someone our children can look up to, why can't he.
He isn't going to change and his phone records prove that, he is still using. I know I can't babysit him and I can't fix him, he has to want to do that himself, but my God, why does this have to be so painful. Like a game to him, he took us out to dinner on Friday, saying he wants to work things out, all I had to say was that the drugs had to stop. He then told me that he would slip up, well after dropping him off Friday, he slipped up that night. He does not want to change. What is it that I have done wrong? I have thought about joining a narcotic alnon - I think that is the name, but should I still join even if I feel the marriage is over?
I appreciate you all letting me vent. I am just new at this, don't want my marriage to be over, but I can't live like that and I can't make my children live like that.