You're not a loser but your addiction sure wants you to believe that. If you feel like a loser, you drink. Do you see the calculus?
In order to start to feel better I had to take steps to remove the stuff in my life that was tearing me down. And that started with booze.
You and I are about the same age. Too old to be young, too young to be old. We're in the tween years of old age. Ha! Its weird. How do I dress? Who am I? What do I do for 'fun'? How do I 'feel' about myself?'
Its a weird time to be 'finding' oneself. But that is what we have to do in order to stay sober.
Booze will continue to keep you down and kick you in the teeth. But remember, only you can let it do that to you. There are many things in life that are out of our control. Don't believe that the choice to drink is beyond your grasp...it obviously isn't, you are drinking. You can choose not to as well.
Get help with detox if you need it. No shame there. Only an empowering choice to take your life back.