KK......As per Trailmix….this is, indeed, a common cmplaint of those who are in relationships with someone who is very active in their recovery program...."feeling left out"....
Even for those who are not in active recovery, which takes a lot of time...the partner often complains that the "dry" alcoholic is not the same as they had expected...and, seem very shocked and disappointed...because they had expected that the absence of alcohol would turn the alcoholic into the person that they had wanted them to be....
Another big shocker, for many partners---they did not realize that this would essentially be a "new" relationship, and that they would have to make as many changes and adjustments as the alcoholic...
In your situation..it appears that these are still very early days. Just over 6 months...? It takes at least six months for the alcoholic's head to begin to come out of the fog...and a year or two to really physically heal....
In intense recovery program IS very time consuming....
This is just the reality of it...and, the recovery program is essentially, the first priority....it has to be...because it is the difference between life and death for the alcoholic....
Your boyfriend may be trying extra hard to be a conscientious parent, now...
***Perhaps, you could talk to him regarding the relationship with his ex wife....so, the both of you can put your cards on the table about that and clear the air....and, define your respective expectations around that issue....
Of course, the daughter will always be in his life...as well as a recovery program, if all goes well.....
I do get it, that he has less time for spending with you, these days, and, that must leave a void in the position that he occupied, previously....and, that is quite an adjustment, in a relationship.....
I know it can leave a person feeling un-needed and/or unwanted.....
A question---I notice that you say that you don't do well in "meetings".....
Would It be accurate to ask if you might consider yourself to be an introvert...?
If so, is it possible that you depended on getting a lot of your companionship needs met through your boyfriend...? If so, I can see why the void would be especially bothersome for you....
It will become necessary for you to get more of your social and friendship needs met through developing other friendhips and activities....which will become part of your own adjustments to the new relationship....
***the lack of intimacy issues is actually a complex and common one....
Over in the mens' forum, there is a lot of discussion, among them, regarding this issue.....and, there are a lot of factors involved....
It is still very early days,,,,and, I think it will take more time to see what the water level will be when it is all settled out.....at least a year or more...probably more....
Meanwhile, I suggest that it is now time to turn your focus toward yourself, more and your own activities and insights.....
Some relationships survive, and some don't.....time will tell....