Morning (here) Mummy.....I hope you've been hearing us all confirm that you are not hopeless.
I'm going to gently (or a bit more directly) nudge you in all seriousness - please take to heart then put to action the wise words of less and Dee and others who are advising you to change what you are doing.
Thinking, hoping, trying- all these passive verbs, if you will, HAVE to be changed into choose, plan, do.
It's simple but not easy.
What can you DO today to take you a step closer to sobriety, not staying where you are or worse, continuing to drink?
I always want to encourage hope- but the bottom line is we don't get infinite chances to get sober. You are alive and right on the cusp of a chance- take it.