Mummy, you're not hopeless. We won't let you be hopeless. You tried something that apparently didn't work, so let's try something new. I struggled for years. Then one day something clicked, and I was on my way. I've read descriptions of alcoholics that just quit one day and never looked back, but that's only how it looked to an outsider that described it. I can't believe that such alcoholics hadn't been quietly doing a lot of processing for a long time, before they supposedly "just quit." Alcoholism is a tricky thing, there are false starts, setbacks, and conflict until the "magic" happens. Don't get discouraged.