There is always hope . . . I promise!!
Many of us here on SR, felt like, you do right now, hopeless, there was no way forward, there was no future . . . but there was . . .
Dust yourself off, and settle in for the fight, you are not alone, you have a whole Forum here in your corner, it can be done, you can do this . . .
. . . and you have many friends here that have your back . . .